A Much Required Change


Well, where do I start on this one? When 2012 rolled around I had my fingers crossed for different things in my life. Change has always been something that excited me, when many people find it a daunting concept. I don’t mean like drastic life changing sort of change, but I was looking for a change nonetheless. Of course, I knew 2012 was already going to be different as soon as I knew I was getting Polly. There have already been a lot of new experiences and memories made due to having a puppy, and we’re only getting started. However, I still felt like I need something else.

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For a long while, I have had an underlying feeling of discontent in my job. Work is a subject in which I loosely mention on my blog. Its a difficult topic to bring up because I know that there are many people unhappy in their jobs. And at the end of the day I’ve always just tried to think, well I’m lucky to even have a job. I’ve spoken before about how this little part time job has opened up so many opportunities for me, taught me many things and enabled me to save up money and buy myself fantastic things – most recently a puppy.

But, on saying that, I’ve still had this niggling feeling deep down telling me that I wanted out. There is not a single reason to why I’ve felt this way, but in fact a number of things that have escalated over time. I’m not going to go into these reasons but mainly my own personal inadequacies have got me down, knocking my confidence and generally making me lose my connection to things. Yet, I know that given the chance, time and patience I could do this job and maybe be happy. So I know that my lack of connection isn’t entirely down on my shoulders. You can only go in and try, be knocked down so many times before you give up.

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I work on a Motorway service station, where there is the Burger King in which I work, Costa and WHSmith all under one roof so to speak. I’ve been employed by Moto since August 2008, I was sixteen when I first started and I’m turning twenty this year. I’ve watched many faces come and go over the years but I stuck it   – but I don’t think I’ve ever said on my blog that when I first applied, Burger King was the last place in mind that I hoped to get the job. I was always set on Costa or the shop, but it never turned out that way and I ended up with the job at Burger King. Well it was a job and it was a start.

In the past I have tried to be moved from Burger King, but basically I was told that I couldn’t. I was gutted but I just got on with it. However in the last few months, I have been unable to stop thinking about a new job. Last week, I finished editing my way out of date CV ready to go through the gruelling process of looking for a new job. I was at the point of doing something about it.

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Then last week my manager called me into the office with him to have a chat. As always, I had the panicky ‘oh shit, what have I done this time?’ thoughts running through my brain, trying to recall if I’d done anything that deserved a call to the office. My body automatically crunches up nervously, I pick my finger nails and drop my gaze to my hands or feet. I hate the way that my body language gives away the emotions I feel so easily. It always has.

However, I was totally shocked by the direction that our conversation ended up taking. We spoke for a bit and I was wondering where this talk was going exactly. Until I heard words along the lines of ‘another position going on the site’ and my stomach danced excitedly – this was it. These were exactly the words have wanted to hear for so long now. 

I agreed before we even discussed details. After that everything kind of went over my head as I was just hit by an overwhelming feeling of relief…

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It is such a refreshing feeling knowing that change is just around the corner. I can’t wait. I’m moving jobs! x

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