A girlfriend’s job, is to hold her boyfriend’s hand to help get him through the more unpleasant parts of life.
Yesterday, I think I did a pretty good job in doing this.
It was one of those weird days where you have to do something sad but at the same time quite special. Gary’s Nan died at the beginning of the month and sadly, he missed her funeral because of our holiday, despite trying to get the date moved so he could attend. Knowing what a worrier my boyfriend is, I could tell he wasn’t comfortable with missing his Nan’s funeral because he was worried that his family would see his absence as a lack of care.
Firstly, if any of his family were silly enough to think Gary doesn’t care they obviously don’t know the person I know. One of the most caring people in my world, seriously. But anyway I don’t think people would think badly of my Gary.
So to pay our respect to Gary’s Nan I told him that I would drive us to the crematorium where we could lay some flowers in her name.
We bought some flowers, they were pink and purple as his Nan liked the colour purple. I thought that they were really lovely. But when we arrived we had no idea what we were looking for.
There was a book of remembrance, which you could operate through a touch screen computer to find your loved ones. But we couldn’t find her in there. And it was only later when a gardener stopped to speak to us, that we found out it takes about a year to have an entry hand painted into the book of remembrance and it takes a while before they provide a spot for someone too.
As the funeral was only last week, we were probably too early. However the gardener lead us to a flower hall, where anybody could lay flowers for their loved ones, and he gave us a vase with some water so we could arrange the flowers how we wanted to.
I think Gary was a little bit disappointed that there wasn’t an exact spot for his Nan, and nobody would know that we left flowers as they were in amongst hundreds of other mourner’s flowers. (We did leave a card in the flowers though.)
But you know what, what does it matter what other people think? At the end of the day, Gary is a thoughtful person who cared about his Nan, and although he missed her funeral he has gone to pay his respect in some way, and I think its the thought that counts!
I found the whole thing strangely peaceful. Out of the blue, the weather changed and was bright, warm and sunny and it made the crematorium look beautiful. The gardens were clearly well tended and it just seemed very serene and calm. When we used to go on country walks when I was younger, we would frequently pass through churches and the number of graveyards that were overgrown was common. And quite frankly there is nothing more morose than an eerie overgrown graveyard.
I don’t know why, but I’ve always assumed that I would be buried. But I don’t know anymore, I found the crematorium strangely comforting. What a strange thing to comment about on a blog, I do realise that.
Afterwards, we went into town and I bought us both a costa. Red berry fruit cooler x 2.
We looked in a few shops, got Gary’s nephew Owen a birthday present for Monday and then slowly made our way home.
I was happy that I could be there for Gary and we were able to do that together, as we have always supported each other through everything.